Make Me Strong - Sami Yusuf

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

INAI


Inai...
tahu tak aper inai?? ala daun yang bile kiter tumbok then letak kat jari, pastuh jari jadik merah...

Aku sebenarnya tak suke sangat pakai inai nih... ader sesetengah orang (org pompuan la biasanya) suker sgt pakai inai.. so, banyaklah mitos tentang inai nih yang konon bleh bagi manfaat kat orang yang pakainya...

kalu gi kenduri kahwen dapatlah kiter tgk orang pakai inai yang mcm2 corak die... ader yang cantek dan tak kurang burok lak rupenye... mase aku sekolah dulu di sebuah sekolah agama yang PALING ternama di Alor Star Kedah, inai di haramkan gara2 ader students yang ntah aper2 pegi ukir nama BF diorang dgn inai kat lengan ala-ala tatu gituh... so tak leh laa yang lain pakai inai.. aku relax jer hal tuh coz aku mmg tak suker pakai inai dari mula..

walaupon aku tak suker sangat pakai inai, tapi aku kadang2 ader gak hati nak pakai especially biler tgk org len pakai nampak cantek.. sebab tuh la aku wat rule yang aku hanya akan pakai inai sekali jer dalam setahun. So kalu inai tuh dah habis, aku takkan memandai nak pakai lagi.. kalu aku pakai, aku akan pakai sampai tahap warna die keoren-orenan jer. hahaha

kenapa aku tak suke pakai inai? sbb inai nih masa mula2 pakai nampaklah cantek.. tapi lama2 dah kaler die makin pudar n inai tuh dah nak habis, ruper die burok (pada akulah). aku pernah kikis kuku and rendam tangan dalam klorox sbb nak hilangkan warna inai tuh...huh sgt tension..

cakap pasal inai nih, selalunya orang yang kawen jer selalu pakai. yang pompuan cantek gak dipandang. tapi bile si lelaki pon hegeh nak pakai, buroklah.. esok2 biler aku kahwen aku tanak kasik hubby aku pakai..hehe kejam..kalu aku kahwen nanti aku tak suker letak kerawang2 or corak2...aku suker cara lamer, letak kat jari and bulat tengah jer..mmm sweet sangat..hahaha



cakap pasal kahwen nih, aku tau dari dulu lagi sejak umor aku mengenal erti perkahwinan, aku dah gatal miang nak kahwen...hehe... tak cayer tanya kawan2 aku..
cita2 aku nak kawen awal sebab nak anak ramai.. aku ader 3 beradik ja n now tolak sorang meninggal tinggal dua. so anak ramai nih mcm Biah adik beradik best sgt (aku rasalah). tapi bile skarang aku pikir2 balik, aku sebenarnya tak redi lagi pon. tak redi dalam serba serbi.



biler satu hari aku cakap kat sorang colleague aku yang aku panggil kak mazla, aku dah gatal sgt nak kawen; die kater: "mai hang nih mulut ja gatai nak nikah, hati hang dok melilau ke lain". mmm sebenarnya betoi...

nak tau apa cita2 aku?

cita2 pertama aku dah pon tercapai iaitu nak amik TESL and jadik Cekgu BI..
cita2 aku yang kedua ialah nak jejak kaki ker UK/US...
cita2 ketiga aku nak amik master...
cita2 keempat nak amik PHD (bukan perasaan hasad dengki tau!)
dan digelar Dr. Siti Maizurah Mansor...

So, eventhough marriage is not one of the agenda, i still hope and believe that it would happen someday.. maybe it would happen somewhere in the middle of my 1st and 2nd or 3rd ambitions...

aku nak kawen. aku nak kawen dgn si dia yang kusayangi.. InSyaAllah... pasti satu hari, hari itu akan tiba.. doakan ya.. =)

# MASA DEPAN TERLALU INDAH UNTUK DIANGANKAN,
TAPI REALITINYA PENUH DENGAN RANJAU DAN ONAK DURI..

BOOOOORRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

i am so spiritless about my life lately... ooo i really need some fun... why? why? why? why must the holiday end so fast... i want to rest more... i want to sleep more..

lately i am thinking of going somewhere other than my boring hometown... i love it, but i need to go somewhere else.

i need to breathe different air, see different people, eat different food... oooh i dont know.. i want to be free.. i want to enjoy new things...ooooh i am so bored with my life lately... i need challenges, adventures, ooooh...

i wanna go out but i am tied with responsibilities... people please help me.. i am so bored to death!!

what should i do?
what should i do?
what should i do?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Lately i feel so lazy to pour down my thoughts and feeling... after so many things occured around me, i got a very slow motion life. Everything seems so slow. I guess i even talk slow.

What should say? I am lost in my own slumber land. ooo God, I am waiting for some crazy, wild (not wild like 'wild') and cheeful moments.. I miss those days when worrying was not so gruesome, when problems were like dirty clothes waited to be washed..

Actually i don't know what i am talking about, but this is what came out of my mind hahaha...

Yeah right, it is so wonderful to have a free problems life.. where you dont have to worry much about your age and not getting married yet. Or about those monthly bills that you need to pay. Or about your ups and downs weight. Or about to whom you're getting tangled up with. Or about your financial shortage when it comes to the middle of the month.

Due to those tiny-miny whims, i wish i was born pretty and slim and slender so that i would not have problems to get a boyfriend and then get engaged and then get married. I also wish that i was born in a wealthy family so that i would not have worries about my financial status as yeah my parents would help me up when i got problems.

Anyway, life is like that. You or i would never be satisfied with what we have. There are always "I wish.."..

I wish i had not known him, yet i love him and i want to be with him.. yet so many obstacles are waiting for us..

Gratefulness, Prayers, Patience, and Faith.. These are all i got..

Saturday, December 20, 2008

what is your colour?? mine is ......

i was wandering my friendster account... then i saw this posted by my ex-students at the bulletin... since i felt a little restless to write here, i guess it is pretty cool to post this what-so-ever-itiscalled stuff..

Since you opened this survey
you get to choose the color of what
you feel today.....
Here are the colors that you can
choose from:
PURPLE- feeling a little lonely.
WHITE -having problems.
GREEN- just relaxing.
YELLOW- addicted to candy.
PINK- feeling so happy.
GRAY- having a boring time.
BLACK- craving for chocolate.
AQUA- hyper hyper.
ORANGE- not in love.
SKY BLUE-calm.
RED- happy because the person you love
loves you back.
GRAY- you like someone.
MAGENTA- heart broken.
BROWN- the person you like
doesn't like you.
PEACH- your not bored. you got a lot
of fun activities to do.
GOLD- saving money for this vacation.
CHOCOLATE- your really in love and you
cant stop thinking about the person
you love.
HOT PINK- you feel hot.
BLUE- you like someone but you
don't know how that someone feels about
you...

So what is your colour??

These are my colours...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Oh no!! They are gone!!

I was so boring today that i went through some stuffs.. then i saw some of the details of my former form 5 students..

I remembered their classes and those days when i walked along the corridor. Whenever it was Wednesday or Thursday i would walk along the form 5 corridor to the 5 Excellent class. Everytime, i would pass my another class that was 5 Kaizen; the most notoriously easy-going class. I remembered their faces, many of them look so sleepy during Mathematics class. I could see that they tried their best to stay awake. I know its not that they dont like the subject but the class was nearly at the end of the day. Even worse, my class was always during the last period. And when i entered their class they seemed so tired. Amalil would look so sleepy. But worst was Faiz. He sat infront of the teacher's desk yet he could still sleep!! So amazing.Actually i pitied them. I tried my best to make them laugh untill i was dragged away with my stories.. hehehe i know your tactics guys.. I hope though sometimes there was so much fun, they at least learnt something. For me better something than nothing.

Then when i arrived at 5 Excellent i always remember the class monitor's face (its not like i dont remember other students..i do remember all of them eventhough i have difficulty to memorise names). It's Jasmi. He was always smiling no matter what. Sometimes i did feel guilty for not being able to be the greatest teacher. 5 Excellent would always try their best to focus during the lesson. I always told them that they looked pretty scary whenever they were focussing on me. Hehe. Anyway actually being in their class is quite relaxing as whenever i was a little blur that day they would help me by asking me questions. Ooo Azeera always had questions.

I had so many things to do. So many plans to conduct. I was so burdened with workloads that i had not performed so well in teaching my form 5 students. I was so disappointed with myself. So many things happened that i had lost half of my courage. The only reason i stayed strong was them. I really really love my students. All of them indeed. I prayed, pray and will always pray for their success. I hope they will forgive me for not being the best teacher ever.

Next year, i wont be seing them anymore. Ooo only God knows how much i miss them (this includes other form 5 students). I could still remember their smiles, laughs, despairs, unhappy faces. Even so, i am happy for you guys as you are free for the world. Reality is waiting for you guys. Please choose the right path.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Upside down = chaotic

currently, my life is so chaotic with so many problems.... Now i have learnt what kind of men that i should trust and like and what i should not. For those gurls out there beware with some guys around you. I am not a gender bias kind of person but having experienced some experiences, i know there are untrusted men who hide behind a sweet and innocent mask. But indeed i agree that there are good guys ( i even know plenty of them)which you never expect that they are actually good. Girls please be careful, never believe your friends, boyfriend or even FIANCE!! They could be nice and sweet in front of you, but hell like evil behind you... so check up on that. ( no wonder hanef and my abang keep reminding me to be careful)...

I am now in a great dilemma. Sometimes i really need support especially moral support. When this happen, then i know who i should really rely on to and hope for. I remember my friend whom i called che tah, she once had had an unlucky event, she said when you are in great need of help then you will know who is your true friends. Che Tah, now i understand what you meant. Another thing that i learn now is that there are people who will take an advantage on your misfortune. So beware about this as you could add on some more problems. Right now i am praying to Allah to help me and give me strength to face the world. I don't need money or other kind of physical assistance. The only thing i need is someone that i could gain support to proceed with my life. However the greatest thing that i need now is strength and forgiveness from the Almighty. Alhamdulillah, he is still there for me and keep advising me and reminding me to stand still. He might not be able to give me anything but his prayer, advises, and support is the most important. Thank You Allah for helping me.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Clueless...

lately i am so cluless about what is happening around me.... yes its school break.And it seems there are still 3 weeks left, as a teacher it means freedom yet i dont think that i have the freedom. My head is bound with so many things that evethough i have plenty of time pampering myself, i have to mingle around with confusion, doubt and tiresome. what i want right now is peaceful as i had just undergone a heartbroken experience.

I am so sincere in any relationship especially friendhip. So sincere that eventhough i knew my best friend stabbed at my back and spread bad stuff about me to others, i would still assume him/her as my friend.

What is sincerity in friendship? i myself dont really know the answer. As i think that there is no absolute answer. You could never ask your friends about their sincerity as they might not know the answer. This is due to one simple reason; sincerity comes from our heart. Sincerity is shown through action not words. Yet in friendship or a relationship,you should never asked for sincerity or love or care as sometimes we never know what lays in our friends' heart..

The only thing that i would like to say about friendship is believe.. if we believe in the frienship, we'll know that sincerity comes all the way...

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Istana Cinta

Saloma

Istana Cinta

Dengan cinta kubina istana
Kau sentuh runtuk jadi pusara
Cahaya hidupku jadi gerhana
Bisa jiwa menanggung derita

Kusemai benih kasih sejati
Kupupuk dengan baja nan asli
Ngapa kau siram racun yang pedih
Ku tahui kini hanya rasa nan pedih

Ku mimpikan istana janjimu
Ku hias cantik dalam angan-angan
Sebab bencana datang mengganggu
Kini hancur musnah istana impian

video

BENDERA PUTIH??

i was in my friend's car when she played this song...i am not a fan of DIDO but listening to the song, i guess the lyrics suits me best... so i guess i wanna put the lyrics here...

DIDO- WHITE FLAG

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that
but If I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
or return to where we were but

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
and I cause nothing but trouble, I understand if you can't talk to me again
and if you live by the rules of it's over
then I'm sure that that makes sense but

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

and when we meet, which I'm sure we will
all that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
and you will think, that I've moved on

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be