I was so boring today that i went through some stuffs.. then i saw some of the details of my former form 5 students..
I remembered their classes and those days when i walked along the corridor. Whenever it was Wednesday or Thursday i would walk along the form 5 corridor to the 5 Excellent class. Everytime, i would pass my another class that was 5 Kaizen; the most notoriously easy-going class. I remembered their faces, many of them look so sleepy during Mathematics class. I could see that they tried their best to stay awake. I know its not that they dont like the subject but the class was nearly at the end of the day. Even worse, my class was always during the last period. And when i entered their class they seemed so tired. Amalil would look so sleepy. But worst was Faiz. He sat infront of the teacher's desk yet he could still sleep!! So amazing.Actually i pitied them. I tried my best to make them laugh untill i was dragged away with my stories.. hehehe i know your tactics guys.. I hope though sometimes there was so much fun, they at least learnt something. For me better something than nothing.
Then when i arrived at 5 Excellent i always remember the class monitor's face (its not like i dont remember other students..i do remember all of them eventhough i have difficulty to memorise names). It's Jasmi. He was always smiling no matter what. Sometimes i did feel guilty for not being able to be the greatest teacher. 5 Excellent would always try their best to focus during the lesson. I always told them that they looked pretty scary whenever they were focussing on me. Hehe. Anyway actually being in their class is quite relaxing as whenever i was a little blur that day they would help me by asking me questions. Ooo Azeera always had questions.
I had so many things to do. So many plans to conduct. I was so burdened with workloads that i had not performed so well in teaching my form 5 students. I was so disappointed with myself. So many things happened that i had lost half of my courage. The only reason i stayed strong was them. I really really love my students. All of them indeed. I prayed, pray and will always pray for their success. I hope they will forgive me for not being the best teacher ever.
Next year, i wont be seing them anymore. Ooo only God knows how much i miss them (this includes other form 5 students). I could still remember their smiles, laughs, despairs, unhappy faces. Even so, i am happy for you guys as you are free for the world. Reality is waiting for you guys. Please choose the right path.