Make Me Strong - Sami Yusuf

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

INAI


Inai...
tahu tak aper inai?? ala daun yang bile kiter tumbok then letak kat jari, pastuh jari jadik merah...

Aku sebenarnya tak suke sangat pakai inai nih... ader sesetengah orang (org pompuan la biasanya) suker sgt pakai inai.. so, banyaklah mitos tentang inai nih yang konon bleh bagi manfaat kat orang yang pakainya...

kalu gi kenduri kahwen dapatlah kiter tgk orang pakai inai yang mcm2 corak die... ader yang cantek dan tak kurang burok lak rupenye... mase aku sekolah dulu di sebuah sekolah agama yang PALING ternama di Alor Star Kedah, inai di haramkan gara2 ader students yang ntah aper2 pegi ukir nama BF diorang dgn inai kat lengan ala-ala tatu gituh... so tak leh laa yang lain pakai inai.. aku relax jer hal tuh coz aku mmg tak suker pakai inai dari mula..

walaupon aku tak suker sangat pakai inai, tapi aku kadang2 ader gak hati nak pakai especially biler tgk org len pakai nampak cantek.. sebab tuh la aku wat rule yang aku hanya akan pakai inai sekali jer dalam setahun. So kalu inai tuh dah habis, aku takkan memandai nak pakai lagi.. kalu aku pakai, aku akan pakai sampai tahap warna die keoren-orenan jer. hahaha

kenapa aku tak suke pakai inai? sbb inai nih masa mula2 pakai nampaklah cantek.. tapi lama2 dah kaler die makin pudar n inai tuh dah nak habis, ruper die burok (pada akulah). aku pernah kikis kuku and rendam tangan dalam klorox sbb nak hilangkan warna inai tuh...huh sgt tension..

cakap pasal inai nih, selalunya orang yang kawen jer selalu pakai. yang pompuan cantek gak dipandang. tapi bile si lelaki pon hegeh nak pakai, buroklah.. esok2 biler aku kahwen aku tanak kasik hubby aku pakai..hehe kejam..kalu aku kahwen nanti aku tak suker letak kerawang2 or corak2...aku suker cara lamer, letak kat jari and bulat tengah jer..mmm sweet sangat..hahaha



cakap pasal kahwen nih, aku tau dari dulu lagi sejak umor aku mengenal erti perkahwinan, aku dah gatal miang nak kahwen...hehe... tak cayer tanya kawan2 aku..
cita2 aku nak kawen awal sebab nak anak ramai.. aku ader 3 beradik ja n now tolak sorang meninggal tinggal dua. so anak ramai nih mcm Biah adik beradik best sgt (aku rasalah). tapi bile skarang aku pikir2 balik, aku sebenarnya tak redi lagi pon. tak redi dalam serba serbi.



biler satu hari aku cakap kat sorang colleague aku yang aku panggil kak mazla, aku dah gatal sgt nak kawen; die kater: "mai hang nih mulut ja gatai nak nikah, hati hang dok melilau ke lain". mmm sebenarnya betoi...

nak tau apa cita2 aku?

cita2 pertama aku dah pon tercapai iaitu nak amik TESL and jadik Cekgu BI..
cita2 aku yang kedua ialah nak jejak kaki ker UK/US...
cita2 ketiga aku nak amik master...
cita2 keempat nak amik PHD (bukan perasaan hasad dengki tau!)
dan digelar Dr. Siti Maizurah Mansor...

So, eventhough marriage is not one of the agenda, i still hope and believe that it would happen someday.. maybe it would happen somewhere in the middle of my 1st and 2nd or 3rd ambitions...

aku nak kawen. aku nak kawen dgn si dia yang kusayangi.. InSyaAllah... pasti satu hari, hari itu akan tiba.. doakan ya.. =)

# MASA DEPAN TERLALU INDAH UNTUK DIANGANKAN,
TAPI REALITINYA PENUH DENGAN RANJAU DAN ONAK DURI..

BOOOOORRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

i am so spiritless about my life lately... ooo i really need some fun... why? why? why? why must the holiday end so fast... i want to rest more... i want to sleep more..

lately i am thinking of going somewhere other than my boring hometown... i love it, but i need to go somewhere else.

i need to breathe different air, see different people, eat different food... oooh i dont know.. i want to be free.. i want to enjoy new things...ooooh i am so bored with my life lately... i need challenges, adventures, ooooh...

i wanna go out but i am tied with responsibilities... people please help me.. i am so bored to death!!

what should i do?
what should i do?
what should i do?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Lately i feel so lazy to pour down my thoughts and feeling... after so many things occured around me, i got a very slow motion life. Everything seems so slow. I guess i even talk slow.

What should say? I am lost in my own slumber land. ooo God, I am waiting for some crazy, wild (not wild like 'wild') and cheeful moments.. I miss those days when worrying was not so gruesome, when problems were like dirty clothes waited to be washed..

Actually i don't know what i am talking about, but this is what came out of my mind hahaha...

Yeah right, it is so wonderful to have a free problems life.. where you dont have to worry much about your age and not getting married yet. Or about those monthly bills that you need to pay. Or about your ups and downs weight. Or about to whom you're getting tangled up with. Or about your financial shortage when it comes to the middle of the month.

Due to those tiny-miny whims, i wish i was born pretty and slim and slender so that i would not have problems to get a boyfriend and then get engaged and then get married. I also wish that i was born in a wealthy family so that i would not have worries about my financial status as yeah my parents would help me up when i got problems.

Anyway, life is like that. You or i would never be satisfied with what we have. There are always "I wish.."..

I wish i had not known him, yet i love him and i want to be with him.. yet so many obstacles are waiting for us..

Gratefulness, Prayers, Patience, and Faith.. These are all i got..

Saturday, December 20, 2008

what is your colour?? mine is ......

i was wandering my friendster account... then i saw this posted by my ex-students at the bulletin... since i felt a little restless to write here, i guess it is pretty cool to post this what-so-ever-itiscalled stuff..

Since you opened this survey
you get to choose the color of what
you feel today.....
Here are the colors that you can
choose from:
PURPLE- feeling a little lonely.
WHITE -having problems.
GREEN- just relaxing.
YELLOW- addicted to candy.
PINK- feeling so happy.
GRAY- having a boring time.
BLACK- craving for chocolate.
AQUA- hyper hyper.
ORANGE- not in love.
SKY BLUE-calm.
RED- happy because the person you love
loves you back.
GRAY- you like someone.
MAGENTA- heart broken.
BROWN- the person you like
doesn't like you.
PEACH- your not bored. you got a lot
of fun activities to do.
GOLD- saving money for this vacation.
CHOCOLATE- your really in love and you
cant stop thinking about the person
you love.
HOT PINK- you feel hot.
BLUE- you like someone but you
don't know how that someone feels about
you...

So what is your colour??

These are my colours...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Oh no!! They are gone!!

I was so boring today that i went through some stuffs.. then i saw some of the details of my former form 5 students..

I remembered their classes and those days when i walked along the corridor. Whenever it was Wednesday or Thursday i would walk along the form 5 corridor to the 5 Excellent class. Everytime, i would pass my another class that was 5 Kaizen; the most notoriously easy-going class. I remembered their faces, many of them look so sleepy during Mathematics class. I could see that they tried their best to stay awake. I know its not that they dont like the subject but the class was nearly at the end of the day. Even worse, my class was always during the last period. And when i entered their class they seemed so tired. Amalil would look so sleepy. But worst was Faiz. He sat infront of the teacher's desk yet he could still sleep!! So amazing.Actually i pitied them. I tried my best to make them laugh untill i was dragged away with my stories.. hehehe i know your tactics guys.. I hope though sometimes there was so much fun, they at least learnt something. For me better something than nothing.

Then when i arrived at 5 Excellent i always remember the class monitor's face (its not like i dont remember other students..i do remember all of them eventhough i have difficulty to memorise names). It's Jasmi. He was always smiling no matter what. Sometimes i did feel guilty for not being able to be the greatest teacher. 5 Excellent would always try their best to focus during the lesson. I always told them that they looked pretty scary whenever they were focussing on me. Hehe. Anyway actually being in their class is quite relaxing as whenever i was a little blur that day they would help me by asking me questions. Ooo Azeera always had questions.

I had so many things to do. So many plans to conduct. I was so burdened with workloads that i had not performed so well in teaching my form 5 students. I was so disappointed with myself. So many things happened that i had lost half of my courage. The only reason i stayed strong was them. I really really love my students. All of them indeed. I prayed, pray and will always pray for their success. I hope they will forgive me for not being the best teacher ever.

Next year, i wont be seing them anymore. Ooo only God knows how much i miss them (this includes other form 5 students). I could still remember their smiles, laughs, despairs, unhappy faces. Even so, i am happy for you guys as you are free for the world. Reality is waiting for you guys. Please choose the right path.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Upside down = chaotic

currently, my life is so chaotic with so many problems.... Now i have learnt what kind of men that i should trust and like and what i should not. For those gurls out there beware with some guys around you. I am not a gender bias kind of person but having experienced some experiences, i know there are untrusted men who hide behind a sweet and innocent mask. But indeed i agree that there are good guys ( i even know plenty of them)which you never expect that they are actually good. Girls please be careful, never believe your friends, boyfriend or even FIANCE!! They could be nice and sweet in front of you, but hell like evil behind you... so check up on that. ( no wonder hanef and my abang keep reminding me to be careful)...

I am now in a great dilemma. Sometimes i really need support especially moral support. When this happen, then i know who i should really rely on to and hope for. I remember my friend whom i called che tah, she once had had an unlucky event, she said when you are in great need of help then you will know who is your true friends. Che Tah, now i understand what you meant. Another thing that i learn now is that there are people who will take an advantage on your misfortune. So beware about this as you could add on some more problems. Right now i am praying to Allah to help me and give me strength to face the world. I don't need money or other kind of physical assistance. The only thing i need is someone that i could gain support to proceed with my life. However the greatest thing that i need now is strength and forgiveness from the Almighty. Alhamdulillah, he is still there for me and keep advising me and reminding me to stand still. He might not be able to give me anything but his prayer, advises, and support is the most important. Thank You Allah for helping me.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Clueless...

lately i am so cluless about what is happening around me.... yes its school break.And it seems there are still 3 weeks left, as a teacher it means freedom yet i dont think that i have the freedom. My head is bound with so many things that evethough i have plenty of time pampering myself, i have to mingle around with confusion, doubt and tiresome. what i want right now is peaceful as i had just undergone a heartbroken experience.

I am so sincere in any relationship especially friendhip. So sincere that eventhough i knew my best friend stabbed at my back and spread bad stuff about me to others, i would still assume him/her as my friend.

What is sincerity in friendship? i myself dont really know the answer. As i think that there is no absolute answer. You could never ask your friends about their sincerity as they might not know the answer. This is due to one simple reason; sincerity comes from our heart. Sincerity is shown through action not words. Yet in friendship or a relationship,you should never asked for sincerity or love or care as sometimes we never know what lays in our friends' heart..

The only thing that i would like to say about friendship is believe.. if we believe in the frienship, we'll know that sincerity comes all the way...

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Istana Cinta

Saloma

Istana Cinta

Dengan cinta kubina istana
Kau sentuh runtuk jadi pusara
Cahaya hidupku jadi gerhana
Bisa jiwa menanggung derita

Kusemai benih kasih sejati
Kupupuk dengan baja nan asli
Ngapa kau siram racun yang pedih
Ku tahui kini hanya rasa nan pedih

Ku mimpikan istana janjimu
Ku hias cantik dalam angan-angan
Sebab bencana datang mengganggu
Kini hancur musnah istana impian

video

BENDERA PUTIH??

i was in my friend's car when she played this song...i am not a fan of DIDO but listening to the song, i guess the lyrics suits me best... so i guess i wanna put the lyrics here...

DIDO- WHITE FLAG

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that
but If I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
or return to where we were but

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
and I cause nothing but trouble, I understand if you can't talk to me again
and if you live by the rules of it's over
then I'm sure that that makes sense but

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

and when we meet, which I'm sure we will
all that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
and you will think, that I've moved on

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

Thursday, November 27, 2008

miss my students...

salam...
days are not always clear..nights are not always dark... life is always full of blessings.. SPM has ended..only God knows what i feel inside... the feeling of missing my former form5 students...huhuhu... next year i am going to look at the classes with different faces...oh how i am going to miss them... i miss them all..

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Redho....



i reread the article about Cinta Kerana Allah... i read it and try to understand its meaning and moral values in depth...then, my heart which before was in despair, begins to see its light... i realise and understand the true meaning of fate and destiny....nothing could be done but just accept the destiny destined for us... what i can do now is pray for blessings...i also hope and wish that Allah will bless him and his future with happiness and success... there is a saying says that; a true love is when you see him happy with his love one, you would be able to smile and say; i am happy to see you happy.....

# now i want to say; dear, i hope that Allah will bless you with happiness and success..for you too mr.Z..

Saturday, November 22, 2008

YA ALLAH...



ya Allah aku ingin mencintainya kerana mu...
ya Allah, i want to love him because of you..

G.L.O.O.M.Y

i cant remember my last entry written in English...well anyhow i guess it's time for me to write in English back....

so many things play around my life lately...despite my schooldays ended a week ago, i am now not really in the mood to enjoy my holidays...why?? because i am broken hearted...

he is not a perfect man yet he is perfect in his own imperfection...
i have been so strict with my heart before i met him...with him, i have opened all those soft spots to devour the sweetness of love....yet the bond was just for a while...thanz to my lil bro and mr.Z for being there for me...i wish i could talk to hanef but he seems so busy that i don't want to interrupt him....

now i am in the process of getting use of not smsing him, calling him, seeing him, hearing him...
all that i have now is missing him so badly...

i wanted to go back to the day that we were just friends...i could talk to him, sms him, and even see him... now i couldn't...it is so hurtful..

i am praying to Allah to give us some peacefulness, forgiveness as well as blessings.. i wish we can have a better future... now i am trying so hard to get over this gloomy life...

thanks to mr.z for the advices and support....you are so sweet...i am so sorry for disappointing you... but things have happened...

now i am trying to stand strong with the only pride that i have... everyone, please pray for my happiness...

i miss you



i miss you...i don't now what to do...i can't forget you....i wish you too....
i miss you...baby...really...i really miss you....

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Cinta Kerana Allah...

Dipetik:www.exmaahadian.com oleh:aishahumaira

Saya bertanya kepada emak, “mana satu pilihan hati, orang yang sayangkan kita atau yang kita sayang? ”
Mak jawab, “dua-dua bukan..”

Saya tercengang.. Mak mengukir senyuman.
“Pilihan hati mak adalah yang sayangkan kita kerana Allah..” Saya menarik nafas dalam-dalam.

“Macam mana nak tau orang tu sayang kita kerana apa?” Mak diam sekejap berfikir dan kemudian tersenyum.
Rasanya mak dapat menduga apa yang sedang bermain dalam hati anak perempuannya. Mana mungkin saya mampu menyorokkan rahsia hati dari mak sedangkan sekilas saya pun mak mampu membacanya. “Yang paling tahu hanya Allah..” mak merenung dalam-dalam wajah anaknya. “Kerana hanya Allah mampu membaca hati hambaNya.. ” mak menyusun ayat-ayatnya. “Dan keikhlasan kerana Allah itu akan terserlah keberkatannya tanpa perlu sengaja ditonjokan oleh seseorang tu..”

Saya memintas, “Tak faham..”
Mak menyambung “Cinta di dalam jalan Allah.. Bertemu kerana sama-sama mencari redha Allah..” Mak menyambung lagi, “begini, setiap insan yang bergelar manusia telah Allah ciptakan berpasang-pasangan. Rasa ingin dikasihi antara seorang suami dan isteri suatu fitrah. Automatik boleh ada daya tarikan magnet tu..” Wajah saya merah, sedikit cemas jika mak dapat mengesan gelora jiwa muda ini.. Mak menyambung “Setiap manusia telah Allah tetapkan rezeki,jodoh dan maut sejak azali lagi..Persoalannya ialah.. Siapakah jodohnya itu?” mak berhenti seketika. Saya tunduk malu, cuba menyorokkan rasa panas di pipi. Emak buat-buat tidak nampak.

Secret Admire

“Kakak, mak dulu masa remaja ada secret admire.. Rajin betul dia hantar surat ..Masa tu mak dah tahu yang bercinta sebelum kahwin ni tak halal..Dan masa tu mak tekad tak mahu layan sebab mak takut arwah tokwan kena seksa dalam kubur.. Mak sedar mak anak yatim, anak orang miskin, adik beradik ramai.. Mak nak belajar sungguh-sungguh. . Lama budak tu tunggu mak.. Akhirnya mak bagi kata putus, mak hanya akan membalas cinta dia jika dia sah suami mak.. Dan dia memang bukan jodoh mak, maka tak pernah dia menerima balasan cinta tu.” Mak merenung jauh. Saya merapatkan badan kepada emak, semakin berminat dengan kisah lama mak..

“Mak memang tak ada perasaan lansung pada dia ke?” saya menyoal sambil memandang tajam wajah mak. Emak ketawa kecil. “Walaupun mungkin ada, mak tak pernah bagi peluang pada diri mak untuk mengisytiharkan perasaan tu.. Mak takut pada Allah. Mak bukan seperti rakan sebaya mak yang lain.. Mak, seperti kakak..” mak memandang saya sambil memegang pipi dan dagu saya. Kemudian tangannya mengusap rambut di kepala saya.

“Mak anak ustaz ustazah.. Tapi zaman tu ustaz ustazah nya masih berkebaya pendek dan ketat. Tok wan mak kiyai. Mungkin berkat doa keturunan sebelum ni yang soleh-soleh, hati mak tertarik sangat pada agama walaupun tiada sesiapa yang mendorong.. Bila di sekolah, mak pelajar pertama yang bertudung.. Mak membawa imej agama. Kawan-kawan dan cikgu-cikgu panggil mak dengan gelaran mak Aji.. Sebab zaman tu hujung 70an dan awal 80an tak ramai lagi yang bertudung betul menutup auratnya..Zaman tudung nipis dan nampak jambul. Kemudian kawan-kawan mak sikit-sikit ikut bertudung. Akhirnya kami semua dipanggil di perhimpunan. Kami dimarah guru besar kerana bertudung sedangkan ustazah kami bertudung tapi nampak jambulnya..” emak melemparkan pandangan ke lantai.

“Selepas tu ustazah jumpa kami secara persendirian. Ustazah kata dia tak mampu nak pakai seperti kami. Dia suruh kami teruskan..” sambung emak. Ada getar di hujung suara emak. Kisah silam perjuangan emak di sekolah dahulu sikit-sikit emak ceritakan pada saya. Itulah juga salah satu inspirasi kepada saya untuk bangkit semula setiap kali terjatuh ketika berjuang di sekolah dulu.

“Mungkin kerana personaliti mak, mak menjadi tempat rujukan kawan-kawan mak.. Jadi, bila mak nak ambil sesuatu tindakan, mak kena fikir betul-betul sama ada tindakan mak tu akan menyebabkan Allah marah atau tidak. Mak ayah berdosa tak? Dan maruah pembawa agama terjejas tak? Kalau mak membalas cinta si lelaki tadi, bermakna mak sedang menconteng arang di muka-muka pembawa-pembawa agama. Orang akan pandang serong terhadap orang yang bertudung sedangkan kesilapan tu hanya seorang dua yang buat. Besar fitnah akan timbul apabila orang-orang agama mengambil ringan batas syariat duhai anak..” mak menelan air liurnya. Saya diam. Fikiran saya sedang cuba memahami maksud mak saya.

Adakah ia suatu diskriminasi?

“Kakak.. Jatuh cinta perkara biasa. Apabila kita jatuh cinta pada seseorang, itu tandanya ada sesuatu keistimewaan pada seseorang tu. Apatah lagi orang yang kita jatuh cinta tu di atas jalan dakwah ni..Tetapi kita kena ingat.. Kita tak akan dikahwinkan dengan seseorang atas sebab jatuh cinta atau saling cinta mencintai.. Bercouple mungkin.. Tetapi bukan berkahwin... Kerana kita berkahwin dengan jodoh kita, jodoh yang Allah dah tetapkan sejak azali.. Dan tak mustahil orang yang kita paling benci itulah jodoh kita yang kita akan dikahwinkan dengannya..” Tiba-tiba air mata saya mengalir. Argh! Ego saya kalah bila mendengar hujah emak. Emak meneruskan, “Allah itu Maha Adil.. Dia tak pernah menzalimi hambaNya..Sesungguh nya, yang selalu menzalimi hambaNya ialah diri hamba tu sendiri.. Sebabnyam hamba tu degil. Dia mahukan yang bukan haknya, yang bukan milik dia. Mencintai seseorang tidak semestinya memilikinya.

Dalam Islam, kita dah diajar untuk saling mencintai antara satu sama lain seperti diri sendiri.. Jadi apabila kita mencintai saudara perempuan, kita bebas peluk dia. Tetapi bila dengan lelaki, kita ada batas-batasnya. Orang kafir kata batas-batas ini suatu diskriminasi, tetapi sebenarnya batas-batas syariat itulah yang memelihara kehormatan seorang lelaki dan seorang perempuan. Cuba kakak renungkan, kita mengenali seorang insan yang amat baik, sempurna agamanya dan rajin. Lalu kita jatuh hati padanya. Ditakdirkan jodohnya dengan insan lain, kita pula dengan yang lain.. Tetapi itu tidak bermakna ukhwah antara kita dan dia terputus.. Kita dan dia sama-sama mencari redha Allah.. Kita dan dia masih boleh sama-sama bekerjasama untuk mencari redha Allah.. Perbezaannya, dia halal untuk isterinya sedangkan untuk kita, dia tetap lelaki ajnabi seperti yang awalnya.” emak berhenti seketika..

Bukan luar biasa
Tentu kering tekak emak menerangkan kepada saya persoalan hati ini. “Kakak.. jadi di sini mak nak kakak faham, jatuh cinta bukan perkara luar biasa..Dan berkahwin pun bukan suatu jaminan untuk tak jatuh cinta pada lelaki lain.. Kerana itulah ramai isteri yang curang, suami yang curang.. Ada orang tukar pasangan macam tukar baju. Apa yang penting ialah kita kena perjelaskan pada diri kita supaya setiap kali kita jatuh cinta, jatuh cinta itu kerana kita jatuh cinta kepada Pencipta dia. Kita bagi tau pada diri kita berulang kali yang kita mencintai Allah, kerana itu kita mencintai si dia. Letakkan Allah sebagai sempadan hati kita, segala perkara yang kita cintai dan sayangi termasuk mak abah adalah kerana mencintai Allah.. Dan apabila kita membenci seseorang atau sesuatu, beri tahu pada diri sendiri berulangkali yang kita benci sekian-sekian hal kerana Allah semata-mata. . ”

“Kakak.. Hati kita ni walaupun dalam dada kita sendiri, ia tetap bukan milik kita. Kita tak mampu untuk mengawalnya. . Hanya Allah yang boleh memegangnya. . Sebab tu kita kena dekatkan diri dengan Allah.. Sebab kita nak dia pegang kukuh-kukuh hati kita. Bila dia pelihara dan masuk dalam hati kita, itulah nikmat lazatnnya bercinta. Masa tu biarpun satu dunia menyakiti kita, kita tak rasa sakit sebab kita asyik dengan nikmat bercinta dengan Allah..Bercinta dengan Allah sangat berbeza dari bercinta dengan manusia. Kerana tentulah pegalaman bercinta dengan lelaki kaya,rupawan, sempurna dan bijaksana tak sama rasanya bercinta dengan lelaki miskin, hodoh,cacat dan dungu.. Betapa nikmatnya cinta Allah, hanya mereka yang pernah merasai sahaja yang mampu mengerti.”

Redha
“Kakak.. Walau siapapun jodoh yang Allah hantarkan untuk kakak, terimalah dengan hati yang redha.. Tak mustahil dia adalah orang yang kita benci. Kalau yang kakak sayang, tak jadi hal lah.. Tapi kalau dapat yang kakak tak nak, lantaran kelemahan yang ada pada dia, ingatlah bahawa dalam diri setiap insan telah Allah ciptakan dengan kelebihan masing-masing. Dan mungkin kakak ada kekuatan yang dapat mengubah si lelaki tadi supaya hidup dia bermakna dan mungkin kakak sahaja yang mampu mencungkil kelebihan yang ada pada dia.. Mungkin juga si lelaki ini ada sesuatu kelebihan yang kakak sangat-sangat perlukan yang satu dunia tak mampu bagi pada kakak.. Alangkah bertuahnya kakak kalau kakak mengerti setiap pemberian Allah dan belajar untuk bersyukur.. ” Sekali lagi berjuraian air mata saya turun. Terasa lemah lutut hendak berdiri.

Emak menarik tubuh saya dan memeluk erat. Pelukan emak sangat-sangat kuat. “Emak dah didik anak emak dari belum lahir untuk mencintai Allah.. Sekarang emak serahkan anak emak yang mak sayang sangat ni pada Allah untuk Dia pelihara..” Emak mengakhiri kata-katanya dengan suara sebak dan air mata yang mengalir ke bahu saya.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

dia

dia..
tidak lama ku kenal...
tapi kasihnya, memakan jiwa,
meninggalkan luka,
buatkan tidur malam ku
diiringing tangis
sendu hati yang kecewa..

dia...
membuatku rindu tak keruan waktu,
dengan merayu keintiman kasihku,
memagut kemanisan senyumku,
puas meramas sejambak hatiku,
pergi dgn ucapan
cinta ini satu ujian
harus diakhiri agar noda
tidak bertambah celanya...

aku...
terpaku-paku...
belom habis madu ku telan,
racun pula ku makan...

Monday, November 17, 2008

WANITA :- AKAL SENIPIS RAMBUTNYA

Jangankan lelaki biasa,nabi pun terasa sunyi tanpa wanita.
Tanpa mereka, fikiran dan perasaan lelaki akan resah.
Masih mencari walau ada segalanya.
Apa yang tiada dalam syurga?
Namun adam tetap rindukan hawa.

Dijadikan wanita daripada tulang rusuk yang bengkok.
Untuk diluruskan oleh lelaki.
Tetapi seandainya lelaki itu sendiri tidak lurus,
Mana mungkin kayu yang bengkok menghasilkan bayang yang lurus.

Luruskanlah wanita dengan jalan yang ditunjuk oleh Allah,
Kerana mereka diciptakan sebegitu rupa oleh Allah.
Didiklah mereka dengan panduan darinya.
Jangan cuba menjinakkan mereka dengan harta, kerana nantinya mereka semakin liar.
Janganlah hiburkan mereka dengan kecantikan, kerana nantinya mereka akan semakin derita.
Kenalkan mereka kepada Allah, zat yang kekal. Di situlah punca kekuatan dunia.

Akal senipis rambutnya, tebalkanlah ia dengan ilmu.
Hati serapuh kaca, kuatkanlah ia dengan iman...
Perasaan selembut sutera, hiasilah ia dengan akhlak.

Suburkanlah ia kerana dari situlah nantinya...
Mereka akan lihat nilaian dan keadilan Rab...
Bisikkan ke telinga mereka bahawa kelembutan bukan suatu kelemahan..
Ia bukan diskriminasi Allah...sebaliknya di situlah kasih dan sayang Allah...

Wanita yang lupa hakikat kejadiannya...
Pasti tidak akan terhibur, dan tidak akan menghiburkan...
Tanpa iman, ilmu dan akhlak..mereka tidak akan lurus...
Bahkan akan semakin membengkok...
Itulah hakikatnya andai wanita tidak kenal Rabbnya...

Bila wanita menjadi derhaka...pasti dunia lelaki akan menjadi huru hara....
Lelaki pula janganlah mengharapkan ketaatan semata-mata...
Tapi binalah kepimpinan...
Pastikan sebelum wanita menuju ilahi, pimpinlah diri kepadanya...
Jinakkan diri kepada allah...
Nescaya akan jinaklah segala-galanya di bawah pimpinanmu...
Janganlah mengharapkan isteri semulia Fatimah Az-Zahra'
Seandainya dirimu tidak sehebat saidina Ali Karamallahuwajhah

Friday, November 7, 2008

Trip to Taiping Perak in memory


Tanggal 31 October aku dan 3 cekgu lagi dan 29 anak2 muridku yang lain telah pergi melawat ke Perak...kenangan yang tak dapat dilupakan... Kami bertolak pada petang 31 October pada pukul 3.30....perjalanannya Alhamdulillah berjalan lancar.... dan kami tiba di Taiping dengan bertandang ke SERATAS sebagai port untuk bermalam... Terima kasih warga SERATAS atas segala jasa baik anda...


Inilah 2 orang pelajar yang sangat bagus hospitality dia...tahniah SERATAS for producing such good students..ish dah tak ingat dah nama depa...tapi comey nih...

Tempat lawatan pertama yang kami lawati ialah Safari (z00 Taiping)...mmm sampai sakit2 kaki gakla melawat Safari nih...tapi seronoklah sebab kali nih kami pusing zoo Taiping sambil jalan kaki bukannya naik keretapi mini...

Perasaannya; gelap, enjoy, penat, sakit kaki and lapaq =) + kasut sembonia lunyai + muka berminyak =))


sempat posing dgn anak gajah..eh zirafah...pandai posing tau anak zirafah ni...sayang gelap skit gambaq belakang tuh...

Penat pusing Safari, stop sat amik gambaq.... tgkla betapa berminyaknya muka aku...haha


semua orang keletihan...pakat check handphone and camera masing2 tgk gambaq...hehehe

perasan tak budak yang dok sebelah lidia tuh...tgk kasut dia....tgk kasut aku (err nampak ke)

Tengokla...kan dah cakap dia pandai posing...=))


Badak nih bukan putus dua ya... ada dua ekoq tuh...hahahaha...


Apa benda nih...ish-ish reserve di melayukan jadik reseb??? Biaq betoi...

Anak saper ni wei...hehehe budak comey yang baik hati...

Aku Wanita

Aku bukannya minat sangat Siti Nurhaliza nih... tapi lagu nih cakap pasal wanita yang mana aku juga seorang wanita...so aku rasa terpikat pada lagu nih...

Aku wanita punya hati nurani
Yang tak dapat dibohongi
Pabila cinta telah membutakan mata
Dan membuat tuli telinga

Apakah salah jika aku menyinta
Apakah salah jika engkau ternyata
Pilihan hati belahan jiwaku ini

Cintaku ini anugerah terindah
Dari yang Maha Kuasa
Cintaku padamu tak pernah berubah
Meskipun kita berbeza

Chorus:
Aku wanita aku kaum hawa
Yang memang rapuh hatinya
Aku wanita aku punya cinta
Selayaknya manusia

ha a a...

Satu yang ku mahu
Ku wanita...
Yang hanya perlu kau fahami

Wanita... ooo...
Ku wanita... uuu...
Wanita...
tiada nama...
tiada rupa...
tiada suara...
tiada bayangan...
tapi ada satu kerinduan
meramas hati yang lemas dalam kesepian...

#tengah dok lepak2 tetiba dapat ilham...dok tengah syok tulis tuh tetiba plak ilham hilang...so kat sini ja lah kot..

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Muka kecik....

Satu hari aku berbual dgn kawan via sms....dok sembang2 dia tanya soklan cepumas. 'Naper tak kawen lagi?'..aku pon jawab..'tak lawa tak dak sapa nak..dah tu plak gemok..org zaman la nak yang cun-cun and kuruih ja.'
disebabkan kawan tuh taknah tgk secara alam reality, tapi dok tgk kat gambaq ja, dia pon kata; 'awat dalam gambaq nampak comey ja.takkan takdak org nak?'..
dgn selambanya aku pon jawab; 'oooo muka saya memang fotogenik.' hahahaha...

merujuk perbualan di atas yang memang berlaku aku teringat kata-kata Yasmin dan beberapa kawan aku yang lain..depa dari dulu dok heran dgn muka aku..depa kata aku ada MUKA KECIK!! apa rasionalnya muka aku kecik?? mesti tak faham kan...

Baiklah aku ni jenis wanita yang bersaiz L..so kadang-kadang bila dalam gambaq yang amik bahagian muka saja, tak nampak pon aku nih jenis besaiz L.. ditambah dgn kecomelan aku n ke fotogenikan aku nih, org akan ingat aku nih bersaiz S@M..

tak caya tgk nih;kat bawah la..




comel kan hahahahaha (perasan lak aku nih)...gambaq nih antara the latest pics yang aku ada...so tgk plak gambaq nih..



mcmna..aku nih chubby kan...hehehe...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Kehidupan....


i wanted to say something...but suddenly my students came and we began talking about their life....about their upcoming future after the big examination, SPM... it was never boring when talking about their future, and sometimes about my past ( i was sharing my experiences!!daaa =p).... so after a while they went away for their own business.. i was left alone in the teachers lobby(so not like what you guys think)accompanied by those windows 2003 PCs... then i began typing my words... suddenly everything came out of my mind... now i realised that life is never easy (always realise about it) but sometimes you do enjoy those bitter sweet moments in your life...

So, right now i just wish that life goes on with the way it should be with its ups and downs ... Therefore, in the end i would remember and reminisce its moments with tears of gratefulness to the Almighty for giving me the chance to taste the fruit of life.. Thank You Allah....

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Rindu....


Rindu.... sejak beberapa hari ini aku sering di landa rindu...
Sukar nak ucapkan rindu pada siapa...
Tapi rindu ini adalah buat si dia...
yang ku nanti dan kutunggui sekian lama...
ingin ku lempiaskan rindu yang penuh dengan warna keresahan
dengan membasahi dada kasihnya...
Ya Allah, bantulah hamba mu yang hina ini
mendingini hangat rindu yang mencengkam dadanya..


Monday, October 27, 2008

Isteri solehah...Suami soleh

when i was still in my secondary school, i used to listen to nasyeed...i still do listen to it but not soo frequent....tHE zIKR was such a phenomenon as all of the songs were so popular...one of it that i like the most is isteri solehah. the lyric is so meaningful that it gives an in sight of what men need from a woman called wife..

here is the lyric;

Isteri cerdik yang solehah
Penyejuk mata, penawar hati, penajam fikiran
Di rumah dia isteri, di jalanan kawan
Di waktu kita buntu, dia penunjuk jalan

Pandangan kita diperteguhkan
Menjadikan kita tetap pendirian
Ilmu yang diberi dapat disimpan
Kita lupa, dia mengingatkan

Nasihat kita dijadikan pakaian
Silap kita, dia betulkan
Penghibur di waktu kesunyian
Terasa ramai bila bersamanya

Dia umpama tongkat si buta
Bila tiada satu kehilangan
Dia ibarat simpanan ilmu
Semoga kekal untuk diwariskan

so...everywhere we always hear people say that a wife should be like this,like that blablabla...we rarely hear people say that a husband should be like this and like that and blablabla.. so here i change the lyric above...this is what i as a woman hope from a man called husband..

Suami bijak yang soleh
Penyejuk mata, penawar hati, penajam fikiran
Di rumah dia suami, di jalanan kawan
Di waktu kita buntu, dia penunjuk jalan

Pandangan kita diperteguhkan
Menjadikan kita tetap pendirian
Ilmu yang diberi dapat disimpan
Kita lupa, dia mengingatkan

Nasihat kita dijadikan pakaian
Silap kita, dia betulkan
Penghibur di waktu kesunyian
Terasa damai bila bersamanya

Dia umpama tongkat si buta
Bila tiada satu kehilangan
Dia ibarat simpanan ilmu
Semoga kekal untuk diwariskan

sebenarnya tak ubah mana pon...cuma kat rangkap first jer...ape pon, apa yang lelaki harap dari seorang wanita bergelar isteri, itulah juga yang diharapkan oleh wanita dari seorang lelaki bergelar suami....

p.s#(aku selalu tersasul; isteri soleh, suami solehah) harharhar

Betol ke....

betol ker biler kiter terpandang 'the one who is meant for us' akan rasa berdebar2...
mmm boleh cayer ke nih...i used to know someone who everytime i met him, my heart would beat so loud and so fast like it was going out of my chest...in the end, he went away.. :-(...

last friday, i met someone who i was supposedly to meet...that never happened as, it's a long story...actually we have never met but we know each other (seen each other's pics)...i supposed it was him that i saw at giant...i guess...well anyway, my heart did thump hard...yet, those things that were supposed to happen didn't happen..

so the conclusion is; is it true that our heart will thump hard when we see our soulmate? betol ke?? boleh cayer ker?? entahla...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Hectic....

My days were hectic lately...now it is slowing down...even so, my heart is still not in peace...SPM is soo around the corner...i really am worried about my students...i am hoping and praying for their success.... i feel a bit guilty for them as i have not paid my full attention to them lately... i am going to work hard till the big day comes....i hope that my beloved students will keep moving forward and never turn back .....


i have just recovered from my fever and headache.( i got 2 days MCs). Tomorow i will be seeing my students...i couldn't wait to see them...


i really2 wish that my students know how i feel inside..guys you have to work hard and never wait for me...


Monday, October 13, 2008

Kasut Raya

See my kasut raya?? Its sembonia!! yeah i know its so like makcik2..but i like it as this is my first time buying a 100 ringgit sandals..(are these sandals??mmmmm)..but Yasmin and Zanariah have them too!!! daaa =p


After going back from Yasmin's house, i stopped by for a while at Nabihah's house as she would be going back to KL the next day.Besides, Yasmin had sent her some 'bekal'... Bytheway, i took a picture of Fatimah Hana, Biah's daughter and before i had taken some pics with her too..Even though some of them are a little blurry but have a look! =))







Oh, actually Nabihah is my bestfriend too..Later i'll show her pics too..wait arr:-*

What happened during weekend??

Last Friday i refused to join Aidilfitri gathering conducted by some teachers at Titi Hayun; i'm not really sure its whereabout. This is because i think i have to settle down some other important commitments..Do i sound boring?? Anyway that's not the topic today. So, in my sweet and peaceful thinking that day i think i could finish up those boring stuffs which i should have done that last week.. By the way i got a phone call from Yasmin....

" Salam. Weh maizurah what are you doing?" Sleepily i answered her with an anoying tone,"mmmm, i got headache.What do you want?"-hey i dont really answer her question!! well you know what happened when you got headache,ok continue..

Yasmin was gigling,"Tomorrow come to my house"(not a question but a statement). Again in an annoying tone i said,"mmm what for, i'm busy you know. Besides the students said that they are coming to my house that day(that didn't happen).

" Yasmin still sounded happy like she never realised that i was so annoyed that she called me at a wrong time (she always did that!!). "Come lah, tomorrow i'm going to have an open house..come laa..ok??". She continued. "This raya we haven't got the chance to meet yet. Come lah ya. Zana is here too."

Not so annoyed with her anymore for i feel a little pity on her, i said,"Mmmm, is there any satay? If not i'm not coming!"(Actually i intentionally said this as i was expecting that there wasn't any satay! yet.." Yes, of course got! So come tomorrow ok.Bye." Happily Yasmin put down the phone. Gosh! i was traped by my own trap!!

In the end, i did go to her house and had some fun by eating 20 sticks of satay!! There i got to see Zana and Nazirah as well after our last meeting during fasting month. As usual we took some pictures as a token of our sweet memory.(Is there such expression??i don't know it just sounds sweet.)

#The conversation above did occur but i had changed it a bit up to my liking in order to make it sounds interesting (is it??what say you?).
Here are some shots taken that day...yeeee haaaa =))









Well, at last i admit it that i had so much fun. we talked about Nazirah's pregnancy (the one wearing purple tudung), Zanariah's latest news (wearing black kebaya), Yasmin's latest scandal(wearing green jubah), Nabihah's latest stories and some ketupat and lemang about other people whom we met recently.....My story??naa it is so much a secret lately....hehehe =D.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

aLaMaK....


OOO GOD RIZAL ASKED MY BLOG ADDRESS... I NEVER EXPECTED HIM TO SEE THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF MAI LIFE...ANWAY...JAN ENJOY THE TOUR..HEHEHEHE..MMUAAAHHSSS

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

LAGI-LAGI RAYA

NI GAMBAR MASA REUNION MAAHAD HARI TUH....BYK BUDAK LAA..